the scorer by chrissie drew

The Scorer

I sit in my scorebox on a freezing cold day

The game has just started, the Umpire called ‘play’

Didn’t ask if I was ready, doesn’t even know my name

Well, I’m only the scorer, not part of the game.

There’s nobody scoring for the opposition side

They say nobody wants to although they have tried

Perhaps I’ll get the MCC to write another Law

That no team shall play the game without someone to score!

No matter; on I tally, with pens in hues so bright

Like jewels in the fading sun … illegible at night

The batsman’s in full swing now, the runs fly from his bat

Five runs for an illegal field, he stopped it with his hat!

I’m getting tired of trying to keep the scoreboard up to date

There’s runs and wickets and overs, all at such a rate

Each time I step outside the box I miss another ball

I try to cope all by myself but it’s no fun at all.

The Umpire has called ‘time’ and they’ve all gone in for tea

But I’ve got to balance the book, please save something for me

The book’s alright, the board’s cleared down, I’ve just time for a cup

I race into the clubhouse … to find them washing up!

The Umpires are going out again but I’m dying for a wee

Well I’m sorry, for this one time, they’ll have to wait for me.

Okay, I’m ready, you can start, I didn’t keep you long

I know you know where I’ve been, but please don’t sing that song!

There are children running all around, their shrill screams pierce the air

Run one more time in front of me and I’ll move you by your hair!

People keep stopping at the box as round the field they walk

They ask the scores and who did what, as if I’ve time to talk

I’ve really got a lot to do, please don’t add to my load

What is that Umpire doing now, he’s signalling to the road!

It’s getting awfully cold now and my feet are freezing cold

I don’t know why I’m doing this, I really am too old.

That’s it, the game is over, we’ve got another win

I pack my bags, lock up the hut, put rubbish in the bin.

Later, in the clubhouse, as another form I fill

I wonder if I should get paid, perhaps I’ll send a bill

Because although I’m rarely thought of and you hardly know my name

Without a lowly scorer you just wouldn’t have a game.

© Chris Drew 1996